Now that you have finally met the man of your dreams, you are all ready to walk down the aisle. And yet despite you dropping hints so many times, if your guy just doesn’t seem to get it, it may be time to take matters in your own hand.
Here are a few tips on how to propose to a man and write the happily-ever-after script yourself.
BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF - Before you pop the question to your boyfriend, ask yourself if this is what you really want. Don’t think of marriage as a band-aid for relationship problems – if you think being married will paper over the cracks already appearing in your relationship, you couldn’t be further from the truth. Marriage will only deepen the cracks and make any future marital obligations unbearable. Also it is not a good idea to propose marriage to a man when you know him for a very short time. It takes at least six months or longer to find out how you can resolve differences in a relationship and about as much to discover a guy’s previous three convictions and miserable credit history. By asking him some right questions you can know whether he’s keen on marrying you without having to propose yourself. Besides if you turn this into a game, you can propose playfully if you have to.
CONSIDER IF HE IS READY – Despite the great relationship you have, if your boyfriend hasn’t proposed to you, go over the most likely reasons for it. He could be just out of a bad relationship and hence not emotionally ready. Or he could be angling for a different job, a promotion, a change in career and wish to propose when he is financially more settled. Then again there are issues of priorities, goals and dreams in life – if you and your boyfriend do not share these, maybe he feels that there is no point in proposing marriage. Finally, who knows your boyfriend may be secretly planning to pop the question himself and is simply working up the nerve – in such case he might feel robbed if you propose to him first.
BUCK THE TREND -If you feel like bucking convention and popping the question yourself, find a creative method of proposing as well. Apart from the fact that it can be quite hard getting down on one knee, especially if you’re instilettos, consider the fact that the spectacle may leave your guy feeling a little less than manly. And even if he seems to be enjoying the proposal, your elation may soon dissipate once you find his head tilting down straight at your bosoms.
TUNE IT TO HIS PERSONALITY- Before you pop the question to your man, consider what is in keeping with his personality. If your boyfriend is the type who likes a bit of drama in life, you can call up his favorite radio show and propose while requesting a special song for him. On the other hand if he is a foodie, plan a special home-cooked dinner for him, with candles, romantic music et al. Follow it up by mind-blowing sex and then mention marriage in the wonderful afterglow. Then again if your man is crazy about his football team, wait till it has won an important game after which the euphoria should carry your proposal through. For men who tend to avoid a show of emotional intimacy like a fancy candlelight dinner, a homelier context might do the trick. For him a gentle query over the washing up like “Would you like to share these suds… Forever?” will be less likely to induce a heart attack rather than a full on string quartet or sky-writing with ‘Marry Me’.
TIME IS RIGHT – Once you have decided on the exact method of proposal, you need to plan the moment. You could you pop the question the first thing on a date, and then you can spend the rest of your wonderfully planned day as a – hopefully – newly engaged couple. For instance after you meet your boyfriend you could say something like “I have this wonderful day planned for us, but I just can’t wait…I want us to spend it together as more than just boyfriend and girlfriend” and then propose. Or you hang out together all day long and then at the end of the perfect day ask him for his hand. For instance, after reminiscing all day, you could say something like “We have so many awesome memories…From now on, I want all my memories to have you in them.” and then propose. If you wish to opt for the former, make sure you have an exit ready in case things don’t work out. On the other hand if you chose the second option, try not to be too nervous all day or to talk yourself out of the ultimate goal. In the end it is going to be apersonal choice, guided by what you and your boyfriend are most comfortable with.
CHOOSE THE RIGHT VENUE – If you are thinking of proposing to your guy, a great idea would be to do it someplace special to the two of you. This could be where you had your first date, your first kiss, your first “I love you” moment. Then again it could also be your favorite park or a place that set the scene for your sweetest memory or maybe even your funniest moment together. The key is to choose a venue which familiar with just a hint of sentimental.If you do something too fantastic, like a vacation or a billboard advertisement, your guy may feel so overwhelmed or embarrassed that he could clam up or excuse himself from the scene.
THE ACTUAL QUESTION- There are many ways you can propose to your boyfriend without mouthing the traditional question “Will you marry me?”. You could casually slip in a question like ‘Why don’t we get married?’ Or ‘Let’s get hitched’ in a conversation. Or even bring about a note of fun and teasing with a question like ‘Want to tie the knot?’ or ‘Want to elope to Vegas?’ Finally if you lose your nerve, you could drop back to the more traditional methods, like mooching very slowly past jewelry shops, sighing longingly before a diamond ring on display and then asking him whether he likes gold or platinum!
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